yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You dont lie about slip and slides
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
