i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
