i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
