Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
whose parrot is this?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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