lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
