If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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