When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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