She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
