arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
