he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
