Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
