At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
