I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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