If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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