i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
