Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
