but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize