I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
