I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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