dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
