sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
