Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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