This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
