Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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