call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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