sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
