Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
