haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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