I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
