last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
