i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
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