best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
