I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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