Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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