its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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