More tranny stories later!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize