I could have mohawked her pubes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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