I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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