my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
