I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
