This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
