Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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