i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
