I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
