whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize