The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we're making bets on your personal life
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
