Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize