Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.

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(754): View more from Florida

you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Her vagina smelled like bad decisions

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

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(802): View more from Vermont

i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.

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(805): View more from California

Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke

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(479): View more from Arkansas

He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.

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(850): View more from Florida

Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?

(770): View more from Georgia

Everyday my friend, everyday.

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