I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize