We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
