Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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