The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
