but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
