I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
