we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize