you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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