i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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