is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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