Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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