i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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