He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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