I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
