forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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