she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
