3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
