Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
