Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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