Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
