I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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