But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
