You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize