We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
