she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
