why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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