Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
do nipples grow back?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
