6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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