it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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