Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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