i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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