D3 body, D1 cock
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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