ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize