he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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