is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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