my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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