When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
