is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize