xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Randomize